The Germany Kyle Show
by KingKenny'sButler
Summary: Germany has his own show. Italy and others are in it too. It like the Jeremy Kyle show but Hetalia style. Contains mad countries.
1. The mad advert

Germany: Hello if you are a country and you're having trouble with another country please talk to me, Germany Kyle, and I will sort you out.

Italy: Ve~ and we'll give you pasta.

Germany: ITALY what are you doing this is an advert!

Italy: Ve ~ but everyone loves pasta. Plus I was hired by someone to be the chef.

Germany: Who hired you?

Russia: I did.

Germany: WHO THE HELL HIRED RUSSIA.

Russia: I hired myself.

Germany: Fine, you two are in the show. (sighing)

Italy: Ve~ YAY.

Russia: Can I use this. (holding an axe)

Germany: NO YOU CAN NOT.

Italy: Ve~ Germany look at my pasta.

Germany: CAMERAMAN STOP RECORDING.

Romano: Shut up you bastard!

Germany: Damn it…

**This is my first one so no swearing unless you like it. Please send reviews so I can do your ideas. **

**Or perhaps your OCs need help? R and R!**


	2. Episode 1 part 1

Germany: Hello and welcome to today's show of the Germany Kyle show.

Italy: Ve~ PASTA PASTA PASTA… PASTA PASTA PASTA… PASTA PASTA PASTA… PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Germany: What the hell was that?

Italy: It's your theme song.

Germany: Well I want it changed.

Romano: I like it you potato freak.

Germany: DAMN YOU ROMANO. Anyway first up on today's show we will be talking to a country who has had all of his potato's stolen. Please welcome England, he's on the show today.

(Audience, A.K.A, China, Japan and Austria, claps)

(Germany each sits down on their chair)

Germany: This must be very hard for you having all of your potato's stolen.

England: Yes it is.

Italy: Ve~ Do you want some pasta.

England: No, what I want is to KILL THE DIRTY BASTARD WHO STOLE MY POTATO'S!

Germany: Romano aren't supposed to put a *bleep* when someone swears?

Romano: Do I give a shit.

Germany: You should what if a little kid watches this and learns these words.

Italy: Ve~ the little kid's mummy and daddy will be so proud.

Russia: I think it's funny when you swear.

Germany: Anyway do you have any idea who was behind this.

England: Yes that slimy worm France, that idiot America and someone else, someone in this room HAHAHA. (evil laugh)

Germany: Please welcome France and America.

(France and America walk on and sit on a chair each)

Germany: You're sitting in the audience seats.

France and America: Oops.

(France and America sit in the posh chairs)

France: Bonjour isn't my beauty too much for the audience, oui.

America: Everyone listen to me in my guilty heroic voice, it was I who stole all of England's tea, it was who hi jacked England's plane so it would crash, and it was I who put that evil devil cat called Dusty in his bed. Please don't hurt me.

Germany: Enough of this madness. Russia, the lie detector.

(Russia hands Germany an envelope, Germany opens the envelope)

Germany: The results show…America…I'm sorry…England is not your dad. Wait WHAT!

America: I knew it.

(Russia gave Germany another envelope)

Germany: The lie detector results show…it was…France.

France: It wasn't moi.

England: Let me see.

(England grabs the paper)

England: Germany…it was you…

Romano: I knew it was that potato loving bastard.

Germany: Security, get these three out of here.

(Prussia and Spain dragged England, France and America of the stage)

Germany: Phew…now it's time for a lunch break…I think I'll have some potato's. (Germany had England's potato's for lunch, Italy had pasta)

**I hoped you liked it. R and R.**


	3. Episode 1 part 2

Germany: Welcome back to the Germany Kyle show. We will now talk to another country.

(Audience, still Austria, China and Japan, clap)

(Sealand comes on)

Germany: Aren't you a little bit young for this.

Sealand: Nope.

Germany: Ok why are you on the show.

Sealand: I got a call saying that today I'm going to be invaded by Russia.

Germany: I know how to help.

Sealand: Really?

Germany: Yes run far away from here.

Sealand: Why?

Russia: Hello. (holding chains) (Russia is still doing his creepy smile)

Germany: That's why.

(Russia ties Sealand up in chains and drags him away)

(Germany can still hear Sealand's cries for help)

Germany: Well that's all for today. Bye.

Italy: Bye.

Romano: PISS OFF.

(At Russia's house, every so often Russia would stand on Sealand for fun)

**Poor Sealand, oh well. R & R**

**Coming soon, The Germany Kyle show, behind the scenes.**

**COMING IN SEPTEMBER.**


	4. Episode 2 part 1

Germany: Hello and welcome to today's Germany Kyle.

Italy: Ve~ PASTA PASTA PASTA… PASTA PASTA PASTA… PASTA PASTA PASTA… PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Germany: And that is our damn theme song.

Romano: DON'T YOU BE MEAN TO MY BROTHER YOU *BLEEP.

Italy: Ve~ I just learned a new word.

Germany: Now today we have are first ever bleep. Also Poland's kid, Warsaw, is on the show today.

(Audience, China, Austria, Japan and America, claps)

Warsaw: Hi, like, isn't this, like, totally amazing.

Germany: There's your seat.

Warsaw: EEE, I, like, totally hate that chair. I want a totally, like, cool pink chair.

Germany: Why you little… Russia, remove this chair and get another one.

(Russia gets a bazooka and blows up the black chair, then replaces it with a pink chair)

Germany: Well that was extreme.

Warsaw: This chair is, like, totally awesome. Can I like, keep it.

Germany: Sure. Russia.

Russia: Yes.

Germany: Ring Poland and tell him he's paying for the new chair.

Russia: Ok.

Germany: Alright you want Vilnius all to yourself but Minsk is between you and him. Plus you want Moscow gone.

Warsaw: Like, yeah.

Germany: Russia.

Russia: Yes.

Germany: Do you want more slaves… I mean servants.

Russia: Yes I do.

Germany: Then you can have Minsk and Moscow as some.

Russia: Ok. Can I kill them if they don't obey me?

Germany: Yes.

Russia: Yay.

Warsaw: Me and Vilnius are, like, totally going to be great together.

Germany: Yeah, whatever. After the break we will be talking to… Canada. WHO THE HELL IS CANADA.

**I hope you like it, Hokuto Uchiha. R & R.**


	5. Episode 2 part 2

Germany: Hello we are back from our break. Now we will talk to… Canada. WHO THE HELL IS CANADA?

Italy: Ve~ I don't know.

Russia: I'm not sure either.

Romano: HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHO THE HELL IS CANADA.

(as everyone wonders who the hell is Canada, Canada is sitting in the guest seat, still holding the bear)

Canada: I wonder when they'll notice me.

Bear: Who are you?

Canada: I'm Canada.

Germany: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GUEST SEAT AMERICA? (points at Canada)

Canada: I'm not America.

America: Um, Germany, I'm over here, in the audience.

Germany: Oh, who are you? (points at Canada, again)

Canada: I'm Canada.

Germany: Oh. Oops

Russia: (thinking about invading Canada)

America (thinking about everyone thought Canada was him)

Italy: (thinking if Canada likes pasta)

Germany: So why are you on the show today?

Canada: Well first why does France keep molesting me?

Germany: Well he is a creep/bitch who wants all handsome men and beautiful women to be French because he's weird. If he does it again hit him in the groin.

France: I heard that! (pops out of nowhere)

Germany: Someone get rid of France!

England: (pops out of nowhere, like France) Let me.

(England chases France away with a bazooka)

Germany: Okay… what next?

Canada: How do I get noticed?

Germany: You should have an army of thousands of people, maybe millions, and invade a country. Start off by invading Italy…

Italy: WHAT!

Germany: ...then invade everyone else you hate, have some allies, then you'll be ok.

Canada: Ok.

(all the Italians and Italy get they're white flags and wave them)

Canada: Turkey keeps giving me weird presents, what should I do?

Germany: Well Turkey is mad because he hasn't invaded anyone in ages so he wants you to become Turkish territory. Plus he's a freak.

Turkey: (pops out of nowhere) I CAN HEAR YOU!

Germany: SOMEONE GET RID OF TURKEY!

Greece: (how many people are popping out of nowhere today) Army, attack.

(Greece and his army of cats chase Turkey away)

Russia: Why don't you stay in my house for a bit, Canada?

Canada: Um…ok.

(Russia and Canada go to Russia's house)

Germany: Poor guy. Well that's all for today. Bye.

Italy: Bye.

Audience: Bye.

Romano: Bog off.

**Russia now has seven slaves/servants. Thanks for the reviews.**

**R & R.**


	6. Madness thanks to Runcorn

(At Russia's house, before the Germany Kyle show, Canada gives Russia the mail)

(Canada, Minsk, Moscow, Sealand, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania watch Russia open the letter)

Russia: There's a scary letter in the mail.

(the seven servants/slaves looked at the letter)

**Yo Russia,**

**I know you work at the Germany Kyle show, and I know you have a safe full of special vodka, and I know where it is, plus I now can open safes. So the next time you leave your house, I'm gonna steal it all. And I'll also take Russicat, and some other stuff. How do you like that, punk?**

**From yours evilly,**

**Runcorn.**

**P.S. I could use some more servants.**

**P.S. I hate you.**

(back at the studio, backstage)

Italy: Ve~ we just got a call from Russia. He said he couldn't come because of a scary letter.

Germany: What…?

Italy: Ve~ what will we do? Russia gave us some dark humour.

Romano: This is all your fault, Italy.

Italy: Why is it my fault?

Romano: Because you wouldn't give more vodka yesterday.

Italy and Romano: WHAT WILL WE DO?

(hiding in the curtains is the evil Runcorn, who looks exactly like England, but cooks better)

Runcorn: Heh heh heh. (talks to walkie talkie) Everything is going on as planned, master.

(Everyone is panicking because Russia is off)

(Everyone is asking each other what will they do without Russia)

Germany:...

**To be continued… if I'm not lazy tomorrow.**


	7. Madness

**Last time on the Germany Kyle show… nah, stuff it, you've already seen it.**

(Germany walks on, audience claps)

**Audience description: (if you don't know what description means, congratulation, you've learnt a new word) China, Japan, America, Austria and a bunch of people who like Russia (don't know why).**

Germany: Hello and welcome to today's show. Sadly…um…Russia couldn't make it today.

(everyone in the audience but China, Japan, America and Austria leaves)

(most people at home changed the channel)

America: Come on man, get something done.

Germany: We…might as well…cancel…today's show.

Audience: WHAT!

Austria: I'm missing my piano time for this!

America: I could be making awesome planes right now!

China: I had to pay extra just to bring Aru in.

Panda: (growls)

Japan: (finally loses his temper, America starts filming Japan) I HAD TO PAY AN EXTRA 70 YEN FOR FOOD, AN EXTRA 500 YEN TO BRING MY SWORD IN AND AN EXTRA 1,745 YEN JUST BECAUSE I'M A COUNTRY AND YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE GONNA CANCEL TODAY'S SHOW! (gets out his sword and points it at Germany) YOU WILL CARRY ON OR I WILL CUT YOU UP TO PIECES. (calms down) That is all.

America: AMAZING man, do it again, do it again.

Japan: I prefer not to.

Germany:…okay…the show will go on.

Audience: Yay.

Runcorn: (still hidden) DAMM IT!

Italy: Huh. Did I hear something?

(realising he was heard, Runcorn started muttering strange words)

(Italy look at a floating chair)

(the sky outside turns black)

Germany: Today we have…

Italy: (interrupts Germany) GHOSTS!

(a grey man starts flying around, chucking chairs at everyone)

Germany: Damn it, what will we do?

America: (starts singing) ~ If there's something strange, dun dun, in this show, dun dun, who you gonna call? ~

China, Japan, Austria and America: ~ Ghost Roasters ~

Austria: Feel the wrath of my portable piano, ghost.

(starts playing scary music on the piano)

China: Frying pans don't work. (stops attacking ghost with pan)

America: I saw a movie once where they used some special guns to trap the ghosts.

Japan: Do you have any.

America: Nope.

Italy: We're all doomed.

Romano: This is your fault!

Italy: Why is it mine?

Romano: It appeared because you said ghost.

Italy: Shut up. It's all your fault.

Romano: Oh so now it's now fault.

Italy: You should have visited more.

Romano: Oh so that's how you want it. You were always trying to get full attention.

Italy: Shut up you bastard.

Romano: You shut up you bastard.

Germany: We get it you had a rough time now shut up there are more important things to worry about.

(England pops out of nowhere, again…)

England: Let me take care of this.

(England draws a circle, mutters some words, then Russia pops out of the circle)

Russia: Hi.

(Runcorn runs to Russia's house)

England: There's a ghost.

Russia: Ok.

(Russia get a flame thrower and burns the ghost)

Japan: Umm…

America: Why…didn't I think of that.

Russia: Bye.

(Russia runs back to his house)

Germany: I think that's enough excitement for one day. Bye.

(later, when Russia gets home, he reads a letter)

**Yo Russia,**

**I warned you. Now you have no vodka. Because I'm nice, I only took the vodka. Now I think I'll leave you alone. See ya.**

**From yours evilly,**

**Runcorn.**

Russia: Why…why the vodka? Why my precious vodka?

(meanwhile, at England's house)

English man: Are you sure it was him?

England: Yes. I am sure it was Runcorn. Until we find him, let's have a cup of tea.

(in Runcorn's secret house)

Runcorn: This vodka isn't bad. I think I'll go for beer next. Hey boss, what's the best kind of beer?

(a man in the shadows was also having vodka)

The boss: German beer.

(the boss is…)

**Hoped you liked it. I'm soon going to do 2 new stories. One about Ghost Roasters and one about Runcorn. R & R**


	8. Return, stupid show

**Sorry it took so long. Blame school.**

**Last time**

(In the morning)

France: By locking Italy in moi closet and going to work for him for one day is sure to succeed. He will be so embarrassed he will become French territory.

(After the show)

Germany: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU STOPPED RECORDING AFTER JAPAN THREATENED ME!

Romano: It was funny. I thought he was gonna kill you, bastard.

(Germany spills beer on pretend Italy, makeup comes off)

Germany: YOU BASTARD what did you do to Italy?

(At Runcorn's house)

Runcorn: (on the phone) Yeah boss Russia burned our special effects with a flamethrower. Sure, I'll do it.

(the next day)

Germany: Where is everyone?

(Italy pops up)

Italy: Ve~ Romano is chasing a runaway tomato so I have to be the camera man. Plus everyone is at Russia's house. Something WEIRD is happening!

Germany: Quick we must beat the DSC (die stupid channel)

**R & R! Don't worry I am going to do your reviews. Just have to do this two parted.**


	9. Die DSC

**The show must go on. Please leave a review because it helps me make better stories. I sound like captainsparklez on youtube. Oh well. Sorry if I used one of your OC's I didn't know. Also I'm sorry is this one is long. It was shorter in my head.**

Germany: ITALY! STOP THE CAR!

(Germany and Italy got out of the car, got some beer from the pub, and then got back in the car)

Germany: Hey Japan when did you get in the car?

Japan: Just then.

(starts driving again)

Japan: Italy the speed limit is 6o m.p.h and you're going at 70 m.p.h. (m.p.h means miles per hour)

Germany: Japan has a point go at 100 m.p.h!

Italy: OK!

France: Bonjour!

Germany: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAR?

(kicks France out of the car, literally)

(in a police car)

Prussia: OI! You're passing the speed limit!

(starts chasing the Kylemobile)

Germany: We're being chased by the police!

Japan: They'll never take me alive.

(opens the window and starts shooting)

Prussia: This is Prussia; I'm being attacked by crazy hooligans! Requesting backup I repeat requesting backup immediately.

Hungary: Do you think I'm crazy! Get someone else!

Austria: Let's all gang up on them. What about you?

Russia: I'm a bit busy! Keep driving Lithuania!

(Russia is shooting a car in front)

Russia: Give it back!

Runcorn: Never! My vodka! Keep driving Warrington!

Liverpool: Die Manchester you cheating bastard (in his scouse accent)

Manchester: Damn you scouse mafia!

(Scouse mafia vs. Manchester gangsters)

Warrington: Oh shit look who it is!

Runcorn: NOOOOOOOO!

England: I'm gonna kill you Runcorn! Keep driving London!

Runcorn: Damn it! Backup!

Mr T: Get some snickers, nutters.

England: It's Mr T! Backup!

Newcastle: Die! Keep driving Widnes!

(meanwhile)

News reporter: This is live from the DSC News and we are in the middle of a Mafia War between half of England and the other half!

Runcorn: That's it I'm calling England's brothers! Wales, Scotland, Ireland and Northern Ireland! Get over here now!

(meanwhile)

Germany: We're surrounded by the police.

Japan: I will have to use a bazooka!

(blows up a car)

Prussia and Austria: THEY GOT HUNGARY! THEY'RE GONNA DIE!

Hungary: Idiots! I'm still alive.

Prussia and Austria: Oh! THEY'RE STILL GONNA DIE!

Prussia: Austria, you go on!

(Prussia stops and goes to the pub)

Austria: Requesting all posh people help me!

England: Guys it's time to go.

(England and his army of posh people go away)

Runcorn: Oh no you don't!

(Runcorn and his army of scruff bags go after them)

Russia: HAHAHA DA I got back my vodka!

Runcorn: WHAT!

(Runcorn chases Russia to Russia's house)

(meanwhile)

Germany: We're nearly there!

Japan: We need to get rid of these posh people. Germany, give me your beer.

Germany: NO!

Japan: Ok give me your potatoes.

Germany: NO! Take Italy.

Italy: WHAT?

(Japan chucks Italy at England's car)

Italy: Hi England!

Posh People: AHHHHHHHH! IT'S A SCRUFF!

Runcorn: Scruffs rule!

London: Bullshit!

Liverpool: Is not!

Manchester: Is!

Liverpool: You're bullshit! HA! Scousers rock!

Runcorn: I wish I was scouse.

Liverpool: From now on, Runcorn is scouse.

Runcorn: YAY!

(meanwhile)

Russia: What's the DSC News doing near my house! China, I choose you!

(China blows up the DSC)

Germany: About time! We're here! Russia, what happening at your house!

Russia: Oh yes! Canada's is leaving my house!

The whole world: *GASP*

Romano: Well this was a bloody waste of fucking time.

Germany: Where's Canada!

Russia: He's already left!

Germany: Oh. Well back to the studio.

Romano: About bloody time.

**R & R.**


	10. Getting drunk

**We are going back to the usual routine. I will do chapters based on your reviews because there are so many. I will occasionally go back to madness. And of course, Runcorn is still here. Anyhoo, enjoy this chapter .**

Germany: Hello and welcome to today's Germany Kyle. Due to some… technical difficulties we won't have the theme song today.

Austria: What kind of difficulties?

Germany: Italy is making some pasta so he can't sing it.

Prussia: Who wants beer?

(Prussia is giving the audience some beer)

Germany: OI Prussia.

Prussia: Yeah.

Germany: Where's my beer?

Prussia: Here it is.

(Prussia gives Germany some beer)

Germany: Thanks.

(Germany drinks it all in one go, so of course)

Prussia: IDIOT. You're drunk.

(Prussia and Spain drag him away quickly)

Japan: Okay.

America: THAT WAS AWESOME MAN!

China: Who will be today's host then.

(Silence)

America: Me, me, me, me, me!

Japan: Maybe I should…

Sweden: SHUT UP Japan. It's me.

France: Why not the deviously handsome moi?

(everyone looks at France)

Everyone but France: PISS OFF!

(France leaves)

England: I'll do it.

Runcorn: NO ME!

Europe: EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP.

(everyone shuts up)

Europe: I have already chosen the replacement and it is… me.

Russia: Let mother Russia do it da.

Canada: I could do it.

Bear: Who are you?

Canada: I'm Canada.

(everyone has a riot, until…)

Austria: I'll do it.

Everyone else: WHAT!

Austria: I am the only one who can take this seriously and not fight other such imprudent things. Italy, may I see the list.

Italy: OK!

(Italy gives Austria a piece of paper)

Austria: Thank you. Today we will start off with a young lady whose brother wants restraining order. Belarus is on the show today.

(Belarus comes on, audience claps, Russia hides behind the curtains)

Austria: Why does your brother want a restraining order.

Belarus: I don't know. He drinks too much vodka and it makes him go crazy.

Austria: Haven't you tried to talk to him about his obsession.

Belarus: I have but he gets moody and locks himself in his room.

Austria: Who is your brother?

Belarus: Russia.

Italy: Why don't you ask him. He's right here.

(Italy pulls Russia out of the curtain, Belarus goes to creepy mode)

Belarus: Brother… marry me.

Russia: Get away from me you creepy bitch.

(Belarus chases Russia)

Austria we will be right back after this break.


	11. Prussia and awesomeness

**Two chapters in one day. Plus a chapter in a different story. That makes three chapters in two hours. Please keep send reviews to keep it going.**

Prussia: Hello and welcome back. Austria had a piano lesson so he got the AWESOME me to take care of the show.

Japan: He only chose you because he couldn't contact Hungary.

Prussia: Anyway first we I am helping a girl using my knowledge of AWESOMENESS to help her get a boyfriend. The lost city of Atlantis is on the show.

(Atlantis comes on)

Prussia: First whisper in my ear who you like.

(Atlantis whispered in his ear)

Prussia: Hmm, interesting. This is an easy one, just ask him out. And don't worry about the other guy, I've already got it sorted. Now go, use the words of awesomeness I have taught you.

(Atlantis goes over)

Atlantis: Hey Italy will you go out with me?

Italy: Ok!

(at Germany's house)

Germany: WHAT!

(at the studio)

Audience: WHAT!

Prussia: WHAT!

(Runcorn and the police come in)

Runcorn: This is detective Runcorn. Romano you are under arrest. You have no rights so shut up.

Romano: GET THE F**K OFF ME YOU BASTARDL.

Prussia: Well as they say on youtube, see ya later shit lords.

**I know not so good ending. Sorry. R&R.**


	12. Germany Kyle vs England epic fail

**I am now gonna tell you a bit about myself. I am a boy. I am under 18. I'm single. I am WAY too young to swear. I am ilurrrverussia's brother, sadly. Anyhoo, enjoy.**

(At the pub)

Germany: She dumped ya already, didn't she?

(Italy nods)

(at the police station)

Romano: OI YOU BASTARDS WHY DID YOU ARREST ME?

Runcorn: Shut up you loud mouthed tomato loving creepy bastard. I'm trying to watch TV here.

(the next day)

Germany: Welcome to today's Germany Kyle today we are leaving the studio to do something…different. What are we doing again?

Italy: No clue.

Russia: It says on this piece of paper we're busting some country called Scotland out of they're house.

Italy: Do we have to?

Russia: It says they have pasta for Italy.

Italy: Ve~ Let's go.

(on the way to Scotland's house)

America: Why do I have to come?

Germany: Because you own Scotland.

America: Ok.

English man: Sir unidentified plane coming.

Runcorn: Shoot it down. Now for your sentence, Romano.

Romano: SPAIN GET OVER YOU JERK!

America: We're being shot.

Germany: Jets ahead.

England: America how dare you try to bomb my country.

America: Uh oh England's mad.

Germany: What do we do, there's three of them.

(one of the jets is blown up)

Russia: Da.

England: All units retreat to Scotland's house.

English man: Sir England wants us at Scotland's house.

Runcorn: Alright, alright I'm going.

Romano: (crying) WHY, WHY THE TOMATOS. THEY WERE INNOCENT. HOW COULD YOU.

(eventually)

America: We're at Scotland's house.

Italy: (jumps out of the plane) !

Japan: Will he be ok.

Germany: Don't know.

Runcorn: What the…

(Italy lands on top of him)

England: Die!

(fires bazooka, it hits the plane)

Japan: We're going to crash.

America: JUMP.

(they jump and land on Italy)

(plane destroys Scotland's house)

Scotland: Freedom. Here's your pasta, Italy.

Italy: Ve~ thanks.

**R&R.**


	13. The Great escape not

**Sorry it's taken so long. I've been trying to do videos for my youtube account, but they all where fails. So any way, here you go.**

(at the Runcorn police station)

Runcorn: No one is getting out.

Germany: But I have a show to do.

Runcorn: Here's a camera. Do it in here.

(Runcorn hands Germany a camera)

Italy: I WANT PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Runcorn: You'll get your pasta tomorrow.

Italy: THAT'S NOT FAIR. I WANT PASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Runcorn's butler: Sir, your mash potatoes are ready.

Runcorn: Ok. You five better not try to escape.

Russia: Da.

Japan: Do we have to pay for our food?

Runcorn: No.

(Runcorn goes for lunch)

Japan:

Germany: Hello and welcome to a very special Germany Kyle. We are in prison so we can't do much.

Romano: Shut the Bloody 'ell up. YOU POTATO LOVIN, *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP*

Italy: Ve~ that was mean.

Germany: Let's see. Belarus wants a job in the show. Ok.

Russia: NO. NO. NO NP NO. . NO. Da.

(wall explodes)

Belarus: (in creepy mode) Brother. Marry me.

Russia: STAND BACK I'VE GOT A CHAINSAW. Da.

(Russia gets out a chainsaw)

Japan: Freedom.

Romano: DAMN IT. I'M STILL TRAPPED.

(everyone leaves without Romano)

Romano: DAMN IT.

Runcorn: Romano. Tell me what happened or the tomato dies.

(later, after the death of a tomato)

Runcorn:

Runcorn's Butler: What's wrong with you?

Runcorn: Germany. He stole…all of my potatoes.

Runcorn's Butler: Is that it?

Runcorn: No. Something even worse has happened. Someone stole…

**DUN DUN DUN. To be continued…**

**If I'm not lazy, I have no homework, if I get time. Don't worry, Germany Kyle won't end, until I tell you when. R&R. Here's a random video for you. Enjoy. .com/user/BlueXephos?blend=1&ob=5#p/u/0/MsJeUqYSlt4 **


	14. What shall we do with the drunken Italy

**Sorry about some blank parts in the last chapter. Apparently fanfiction doesn't do smilies.**

Germany: Welcome to today's Germany Kyle. It appears we are all tied up to our chairs. Except Austria, who is tied up to his piano.

Italy: Ve~ I have a free arm.

Germany: Good. Now untie the knot.

Italy: Ve~ after this beer.

Romano: RUNCORN YOU BASTARD WHY DID YOU TIE US UP?

Runcorn: I have an investigation to do. So I'm using your lie detector.

Germany: We had a lie detector?

Russia: Da. We used it once, then no one wanted to use it.

Runcorn: I am questioning as many countries as I can. Starting with you, Austria.

Austria: You are an ass.

(the first interview)

Austria: You are an ass.

Runcorn: Shut it, posh boy.

Austria: Scruff bag.

Runcorn: Piano loving, *bleep* *bleep*, posh swot.

(second interview)

Italy: Ve~.

Runcorn: Are you allowed beer.

(next interview)

Germany: GIVE ME POTATOES AND THEN I'LL TALK.

Runcorn: Talk or I'll burn the potatoes.

(next interview)

Prussia: I AM TOO AWESOME TO BE TIED UP!

Runcorn: SHUT UP.

(next)

France: HOW? COME I'M BEING THREATENED WITH KNIFES AND GUNS?

Runcorn: Because I hate you.

(later)

Russia: Da.

Runcorn: Forget it.

(finally)

Runcorn: I have the lie detector results here. We asked Austria if he stole my cat, Runcat. He called me an ass. He was lying.

Austria: YOU ARE AN ASS.

Runcorn: NO I'M NOT.

Runcorn: We asked Hungary if she stole my cat. She said no. She was telling the truth.

Runcorn: We asked Prussia if he stole my cat. He said yes. He was lying. We asked Germany if he stole my cat. He said he wanted potatoes. He was telling the truth.

Runcorn: We asked France if he stole my cat. He said he wanted to kill me. He was telling the truth. Arrest him.

France: WHAT!

(the police comes and arrests France)

Runcorn: We asked Japan if he stole my cat. He said that if he did he would have no money. He was telling the truth. We asked Italy if he stole my cat. He said yes. He…was telling the truth!

Germany: ITALY'S DRUNK!

Italy: You'll never take me alive.

(Italy frees himself, then frees Austria)

Runcorn: Someone ARREST ITALY!

(Runcorn fires a bazooka, it misses and destroys the wall)

Italy: Asta la Pasta.

(Italy escapes)

Austria: Asta la vista, baby.

(Austria escapes)

Runcorn: (talking to the radio) This is detective Runcorn. I now know who is behind all the cat thefts, and who is behind all the tea thefts.

**Sorry it is a bit mad. No one wanted to use the lie detector or the DNA tests or the drugs test so I did this one. R&R.**


	15. More mad adverts

**Every time I watch Jeremy Kyle, instead of saying Jeremy Kyle, I say Germany Kyle. I think this story might be affecting my brain.**

Germany: Hello if you need a lie detector result or DNA result or need help with an addiction please come on the show. Thank you.

(next advert)

Narrator: Long ago, there was a great and powerful warlock. His name… Runcorn.

(next one)

America: Do you like waffles?

Canada: Yeah we like waffles.

America: Do you like pancakes?

Japan: Yeah we like pancakes?

America: Do you like French toast?

England: No we hate French toast?

All four: DODODO can't wait to get a mouthful.

(final advert)

America: Hey Britain. All I want, is my freedom.

Narrator: The most famous shot in the world.

England: I won't allow it.

Narrator: The American War of Independence.

Runcorn: What was the point of them getting Independence when they always want us to help them in their wars.

Narrator: Coming soon. To 3D.

(I lied)

Narrator: He said he'd be back.

Austria: I'll be back.

Narrator: Now he is back. Posher than ever.

Austria: Asta la vista, baby.

Narrator: Austinator 2. Coming soon. To selected cinemas. Not in 3D.

(just this last one)

Next time on Hetalia Nation Street.

Hungary: Prussia there's something I have to tell you.

Prussia: Go on.

Hungary: I'm pregnant.

Next Wednesday.

**Got bored so I did some adverts. R&R.**


	16. Season 2 NOT EPISODE 1

**It's been so long since I've done this. Oh well.**

The World: I now own copyright of everything. I own copyright of all OC's in Germany Kyle that was not sent by a review or PM (private message, not prime minister)! I own copyright of all the cats in the world, and all the countries in the world **(NOT IN HETALIA), **I own copyright over YOU!

Atlantis: No you don't.

The World: Yes I do.

Atlantis: Oh no you don't.

The World: Oh yes I do. Bloody hell.

**Do you see where this is going?**

Atlantis: Oh no you don't.

**Is this a bloody panto…?**

**And Atlantis was never seen again…**

**R&R!**

**Hi**

**You can stop now**

**I'm serious**

**Keep going to find my phone number**

**LOL! I lied.**


	17. Musical Madness Part 1

**Well, this is a great way to come back! I killed someone! Opps.**

**Oh and hopefully no one used the OC Runcorn before the first chapter he was in in Germany Kyle, so I'm now shall claim Runcorn as my OWN OC (the male version, anyway) until I have proof someone beat me. **

Italy: PASTA PASTA PASTA, PASTA PASTA PASTA, PASTA PASTA PASTA, !

Germany: Hello and welcome to today's Germany Kyle. Today…we have…*bleep* it's the Irish.

(Ireland and Northern Island enter the stage)

Italy: Pasta! (Italy finds a floating pasta)

Germany: Not now Italy. So Ireland, what's the problem.

Ireland: Oh I'll tell ya what's the problem. Austria, play the music.

(Austria and a band start playing music)

Ireland: You're a bum, you're a punk.

N Ireland: You're an old slut on junk.

(Germany and others are helping themselves to beer)

N Ireland: Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed.

Ireland: You scumbag, you maggot. You cheap lousy faggot. Happy Christmas my arse I pray God it's our last.

(Now that everyone else is drunk, they start singing)

Everyone: The boys of the NYPD choir were singing "Galway bay" and the bells were ringing out for Christmas day.

Italy: Look it's a floating pasta.

(In Italy's head)

Russia: **(in his opera voice) Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah.**

(Back to reality)

Austria: OH SHIT, IT'S A BLOODY GHOST!

**Because this chapter is ridiculously long, the second part will come soon. Oh and expect a Easter special.**


End file.
